Imagine having an inner coach who is kind, courageous, and forgiving instead of being harsh with yourself when you’re hurting. Today, we will help you develop that compassionate inner coach who wants the best for you, cares for you, and supports you. You have the power to choose which thoughts you listen to. When your inner critic shows up, you can get stuck in its message, or you can disregard it and focus on more helpful thoughts instead. Choosing the latter doesn’t mean that your critic will disappear, but it does mean you can be more flexible and compassionate in how you treat yourself and respond to your mind.
As Russell Kolts notes in episode 50 of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast, “When you really look at what it is like to have a human life, compassion is the only thing that makes sense” (2018). We couldn’t agree more.
ACT Daily Writing: Your Compassionate Coach
In moments of struggle, what would you want your compassionate inner coach to say to you? Consider statements like:
“You are enough.”
“I accept you exactly as you are.”
“You’re doing the best you can right now.”
Try It Now: Compassionate Touch
Touch can be a powerful, nonverbal way to foster self-compassion. We use touch to soothe babies, express love to our partners, and let our friends know they are not alone. You can activate self-compassion by practicing caring touch with yourself now:
Place both of your hands over your heart and feel it beating.
Move one hand to your belly, keeping one hand on your heart.
Take long, slow breaths.
Place your hands on your cheeks and hold your face as you would hold that of someone you love.
ACT in My Life: Today’s Values, Goals, Reflections
Today’s Practice
Catch yourself during moments when you’re beating yourself up. When you do, repeat one of the compassionate statements you noted above. As you say it, you may want to add a little caring touch, too, by placing your hands on your heart in a simple gesture of self-compassion.
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