Introduction
What does your inner monologue sound like when you’re trying something new or struggling? Are you harsh, judgmental, and negative in ways you’d never be toward someone else? Do you reject yourself? We can be so hard on ourselves.
Curiously, we’re often meanest to ourselves when we’re most vulnerable, struggling, or stepping outside our comfort zone. In these moments, our inner critic tries to set things straight by being perfectionistic, setting high standards, and judging. There are many reasons why we might be self-critical. We may have internalized the critical voices of caregivers, absorbed individualistic ideals such as “pull yourself up by your bootstraps,” or internalized messages based in stereotypes, racism, or other people’s standards.
Self-compassion offers you a chance to choose a more reassuring voice—in the moments when you need encouragement most. Today you’ll identify your critical voice so that tomorrow you can start growing a more compassionate one.
Meet Your Inner Critic
Journal Prompt 1: Reflect on Your Inner Critic
How has it shown up in your life?
What did it say to you when you were younger?
What about more recently?
Journal Prompt 2: Current Struggles and Your Inner Critic
Write about something that’s hard for you now.
In what way does your inner critic show up when you are struggling?
What does it say?
Try It Out: Feeding Your Inner Critic
Have you ever stopped to wonder what your critic wants?
There is an ancient Tibetan practice called “feeding your inner demons” (Allione 2008). In this meditation, the practitioner personifies their inner demons, asks them what they’re hungry for, and then imagines “feeding” them what they desire. Close your eyes and imagine that your inner critic is in front of you, personified. Ask these questions and notice what shows up:
Journal Prompt 3: Dialogue with Your Inner Critic
Why are you here?
How are you trying to help me?
What do you need from me?
Become curious about your inner critic. What could satisfy its true hunger?
ACT in My Life: Today’s Values, Goals, Reflections
Reflect on how understanding your inner critic and fostering self-compassion can align with your values and goals. Consider how this practice can support your personal growth and well-being.
By taking these steps, you can begin to transform your inner dialogue, replacing harsh criticism with compassionate self-talk, and ultimately nurturing a healthier, more supportive relationship with yourself.
Keep an eye out for the subsequent posts on the neuroscience behind self-talk and its differentiation from affirmations.
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