Our mind loves to follow rules. Rules can be helpful for organizing behavior and solving problems. For instance, the rule to wear your seatbelt has kept you safe.
However, when you rigidly follow your mind's rules, you prevent adaptation and values-based action. Sometimes you must let go of rules to flexibly respond to life's circumstances.
Our mind also wants others to follow our rules, and we can latch on to being right. When this happens, we lose sight of what's really important. For therapists, many have seen marriages destroyed over partners believing too firmly they were right. What happens when you're fixated on being right, but others disagree? Or when being right makes you chronically frustrated with the world or disappointed in people you care about?
Daily Writing: Your Rules
We may not notice our mind's rules and righteousness, even if they limit us. For example, here are a couple of our rules: If I say no to my friends, I'll hurt their feelings, and I can't feed myself processed food because it's unhealthy.
Write some of your rules.
What does your mind tell you "you're right" about but not everyone agrees?
How are rule following and being right limiting you?
Try It Now: Unconscious Rules
Notice some rules you're following right now that you're not usually conscious of.
How many can you count? Are you wearing matching socks? Drinking your coffee from a mug and not a bowl? Wearing shoes outside? Sitting in a chair and not on the floor?
Now consider whether some of these rules are less or more helpful to you?
What would it be like to experiment with breaking some of these rules, just for the sake of practicing flexibility?
Today's Practice
Today, pick out a rule that you want to be less trapped by. Make a commitment to break that rule today. See what happens if you rebel against your mind!
Comments