The human mind is great at making quick evaluations. This ability helps us make decisions and stay safe. For example, if you see a cockroach at a sushi place, you might benefit from judging it as "dis-gusting" and making other dinner plans.
Sometimes our judgments are accurate.
The problem is that sometimes our assumptions are wrong because we don't have enough information. What's more, we often confuse judgments for facts. For example:
She's such a good girl.
My anxiety is the worst.
His car is nicer than mine.
These statements are opinions presented as truths. When we present something as a truth, we lose sight of how perspective and context are shaping our thoughts. For example, how are you defining "good girl"? Is your anxiety always bad? What do you mean by "nicer"?
Notice that the judgments about yourself (I did a terrible job) and other people (He's an idiot) depend on perspective and who's doing the thinking-in this case, you! When we let our mind's judgments guide our behavior, we might lose sight of the bigger picture and miss out on experiences we value.
Daily Writing:
Judgments Vs.
Observations
Write down positive and negative self-judgments. For example, I'm friendly, I'm too short.
Now write your self-judgments as observations. Include observable facts or words that give context and perspective, such as "sometimes" and "in my/their opinion." For example, Sometimes I make time to chat and I'm five-foot-three.
What differences do you notice between self-judgments and observations?
Try it now: Unhook From Judgments
Another helpful practice is to not take your judgments so seriously. Notice judgments as language that hooks you and try to unhook from them by seeing them as just words. Write down a self-judgment you struggle with (e.g., I am fat):
Now write that judgment over and over in different ways: with your nondomin-ant hand, backward, in cursive, tiny, big (e.g., FAT, taf, fat...).
What happened to the judgment?
Today's Practice
Notice your judgments (good and bad) today. When you notice them, try either restating them as observations or seeing them as just words. Write the judgments down and play around with them. See how this changes your perspective.
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