Yesterday you took a look at your threat and drive emotion regulation systems. Today you’re going to explore your caring system. As Paul Gilbert (2014) teaches, it’s not our fault that we have “tricky” brains, but it is our responsibility to reorient our mind and behavior toward caring. You can mobilize your caring system through compassion. Compassion can flow in three ways (Gilbert 2014):
Giving compassion to others
Receiving compassion from others
Giving compassion to ourselves
You can also activate your caring system through body-based soothing practices, such as gentle touch and slow, soothing breathing, or by imagining a time when you felt compassion for or from another. In caring mode, you have greater capacity to feel empathy for others, are more open-minded, and have more courage to engage in difficult, meaningful actions.
Daily Writing: Your Caring System
Think of a time when you were struggling and received compassion from another person. What did this person say and do that was compassionate? Describe this person’s tone of voice, body language, and facial expressions.
Now think about a time when you gave compassion to someone who was struggling.
What did you feel?
What did you do to show compassion?
Write about a struggle you’re having now. What qualities of compassion, such as those you noted above, could you offer yourself?
Try It Now:
What’s Your Balance Today?
On a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (all the time), how dominant are your three systems today?
My threat system
My drive system
My caring system
Today’s Practice:
What simple activity could you do today to activate more caring in your life?
Remember the three ways that compassion flows?
Consider these elements to jump-start your caring system:
Give compassion to others:
smile at a stranger, cuddle with your pet, or reach out to someone you love who is struggling.
Receive compassion from others:
discuss your worries with someone you trust, or visualize a time when you felt safe, secure, and at peace with someone.
Give compassion to yourself:
for example, practice soothing rhythm breathing, spend some time in nature, savor a nice cup of tea, or listen to music you enjoy.
Choose one of the above examples, or come up with one of your own, and try it today. Take note to come back and let us know which compassion element you chose for the day in the comments.
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